


Then He Kissed Me

by irisirene



Category: The Doctor Blake Mysteries
Genre: First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 03:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10935963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisirene/pseuds/irisirene
Summary: Charlie is not prepared for the reaction that Lawson has to finding out that he has a crush on him.





	Then He Kissed Me

**Author's Note:**

> The Doctor Blake Mysteries belongs to the ABC, not me. No Copyright Infringement intended. The title comes from the 60's song "Then He Kissed Me" by the Crystals. It's a fave of mine.  
> _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
> This was more of a writing exercise than anything, but with so few works in the fandom, I felt that I had to post it. I've only recently gotten into TDBM, but I tell you, I absolutely love this show and its characters. I apologize if things don't quite fit into canon or if the characters are OOC, or if there are any issues with the dialect of English used (I am American, not Australian, lol). Constructive criticism is always welcomed, as are any other comments! Feel free to shout out to me on Tumblr, too, I'd absolutely love to talk about Doctor Blake with someone. Not Beta Read.

After another evidently frustrating phone call, most likely from Melbourne—though, these days the brass didn’t see fit to inform Charlie of goings on, probably due to the fact that he’d stopped sending them the news that they wanted to hear from him—Lawson stepped away from his desk with a sigh, frustration and fatigue obvious in both his expression and his posture. Charlie couldn’t help but notice the proverbial rain cloud hanging over the Chief Superintendent’s head, as he’d grown used to Ballarat and more or less settled, he’d become attuned to his boss’ moods to the degree that he often felt like a mind reader.

It had arisen out of necessity, originally, because disappointing the Boss was a dangerous thing, particularly when it had been so obvious to everyone where his loyalties had once laid. While Charlie still feared pissing off Matthew Lawson, he could no longer claim that his close watch of the man was just out of self-preservation. Over time, Charlie had come to understand why Lawson had risked so much for the doctor and, somehow, quite without meaning to, he’d become quite attached to both Doctor Blake and Lawson. His affection for Doctor Blake was almost what one might have for a father figure, a desire to help, to be loyal to the man who so often led to the closing of complicated cases regardless of the cost. However, when it came to Matthew Lawson, Charlie’s affections were far less…appropriate--downright illegal, actually, embarrassing as that might be for a policeman.

The worst of the shame over his attraction had more or less faded over the last weeks, thanks in no small part to Doctor Blake’s progressive views on the topic of homosexuality, though Charlie still feared being found out, especially by the object of his affection. Sometimes, Charlie was convinced that Blake had some idea of his leanings, particularly when the young policeman realized that he’d tuned out whatever conversation that Lawson and Blake were in favour of watching each minute expression cross his supervisor’s face. He’d tried to reign in the adoration as best he could, hoping that whatever he couldn’t control would merely come across as hero worship, as a desire to be as much like Lawson as he could be. It wasn’t wholly untrue, after all, he did admire the work that Matthew did—he was a brilliant copper, one who genuinely cared about solving crimes and putting the right man behind bars. Charlie truly had come to respect the man, despite their early differences.

He had started to make peace with what his mind always referred to as his unnatural desires, recognizing that no amount of ignoring those thoughts would make them go away. Every time Charlie set eyes on the long, lean, lines of Matthew, his strangely alluring if unusual features, Charlie’s heart raced and his palms grew damp; an unidentifiable warmth spread through his chest. All he could do was allow himself to feel what he felt, fighting it had only made it that much more consuming and had done him little good.

Charlie knew fully well that there was absolutely no chance that Matthew fancied him back, not with his visible disgust at the very mention of homosexuality or the notion that a man was born with such inclinations, not that it was some sort of disease of the mind that had occurred because of a lack of moral hygiene. He had no intention of ever even hinting at his attraction, wouldn’t even allow himself the luxury of imagining what it would be like if Lawson had the same inclinations that he possessed outside of pure fantasy. Even then, Charlie often felt guilty, imagining his boss—his _friend_ —in such a way, knowing that it would disgust him to such a degree that he probably wouldn’t be able to articulate it in any other way than recommending his immediate dismissal.

That didn’t mean, naturally, that he reigned in all of his sentiment regarding Matthew, only that which might draw immediate suspicion. He often indulged himself in little kindnesses; wordlessly setting a fresh cup of tea on Lawson’s desk, bringing Matthew lunch whenever he bought it for himself, generally helping whenever he thought it might go unnoticed. So, understandably, when Lawson disappeared from behind his desk after yet another stressful phone call from Melbourne about Blake’s disregard for police protocol, Charlie found himself standing from his own desk and following after the man—once everyone else’s attention had returned to their work.

He made his way down the corridor, looking in at each of the rooms he passed, only to be unable to find Lawson. On a hunch, Charlie headed down into the building’s basement, instead of looking for him outside, something telling him that Matthew hadn’t left the building, even though he was seeking some alone time. Cautiously, he stepped down into the basement, the smell of musk hitting him almost immediately, most likely due to the number of molding boxes holding old case files that hadn’t been sent on to Melbourne. As he reached the final stair and his eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, Charlie caught sight of his boss at the very end of the room, his hat off and posture defeated as he leaned against a file cabinet that had seen better days. Lawson ran a hand over his face before carding it through his hair, rubbing at it in a way that Charlie had never witnessed him doing. Stress seemed to ooze from Matthew, his every muscle unreasonably tense, including the set of his jaw. Charlie crept forward with caution, almost as if he were approaching an injured animal who might snap if he made any sudden movements.

Of course, Matthew heard his measured footsteps against the cement floor, his body stiffening before he looked at who dared interrupt his private movement of anxiety. Inexplicably, Matthew’s expression softened for a moment as he set eyes on Charlie, before it disappeared into a mask of exhausted frustration. It was clear from Lawson’s affectation that he expected to be left alone without question, but Charlie knew that he wouldn’t be able to just leave the man to stew in his hardship. His own expression sympathetically tentative, the young constable came to a stop a few feet in front of his boss, not willing to overstep a physical boundary at the same time he was preparing to overstep an emotional one with the most private man that he’d ever known.

“Everything okay, Boss?,” Charlie asked softly, predicting to be either shut down with an observation that it wasn’t any of his business to inquire, or to receive some deceptive comment about how everything was perfectly alright, thank you very much. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was Lawson to let out a particularly weary sigh and actually answer him truthfully.

“You know it’s not,” was the reply that Charlie received, weariness weighing down every word that Matthew spoke. Caught off guard, Charlie blinked before smiling slightly and shrugging, tucking his hands into his trouser pockets. Lawson regarded him carefully; his sharp gaze roaming over Charlie in such a way that he feared that his every thought was being telegraphed to the man. His heart raced in the way that it always did whenever he made eye contact with Lawson, fear and desire warring inside him in equal parts. Ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of his nervousness manifesting in its typical physical fashion, Charlie tried to focus entirely on the issue at hand. His own demeanor was gentle, though not overly so, so as not draw Matthew’s suspicion. He could be concerned, caring even, but he couldn’t be tender.

“Is there anything that I can do to help, Boss?,” Charlie asked, wishing wholeheartedly that there would be some way that he could help, even if it was something as simple as being a release for Lawson’s anger and frustration at the constant meddling from Melbourne about the running of his police station. His blue eyes seemed to shine with his concern, inexplicably softening Matthew’s own countenance. A small, if pleased, smile formed on his face, surprising Charlie.

“No, unfortunately,” Lawson replied, sighing again, his breath escaping him in a huff. “You know how they feel about Blake. They’re threatening that if I don’t fire him, myself, that they will get someone in here who will,” he added a moment later, though they both knew that Charlie had always known that Melbourne was very against Doctor Blake remaining at his post of Police Surgeon, however brilliant the man may be. Now that Charlie could see how important Blake’s services were to Ballarat, even if his mode of operation often left a lot to be desired, through his flagrant disrespect for protocol, the idea of either Lucien or Matthew being forced out left Charlie feeling particularly cold.

Frowning out of sympathy for Matthew’s difficult position, Charlie shook his head and stepped a little closer. Not knowing what to say, if there even was anything that Charlie could say to lessen the burden that had been placed on Matthew, he reached out to lay a hand on Matthew’s shoulder. He very nearly withdrew it within a second when Lawson looked down at his hand then back at him, his expression utterly unreadable. Charlie’s nerves increased ten-fold as that look was levelled at him, terrified that his true nature had just became incredibly obvious.

A moment later, though, Matthew’s face softened again and this time he was the one who took a step forward. “Just what is it that you think you’re doing?,” Matthew asked, his tone not without compassion or understanding, a mirror of Charlie’s earlier tone. Blinking in concerned surprise, Charlie swallowed hard and removed his hand, his mouth opening and closing several times in an attempt to explain himself, but the words wouldn’t come. His blood pressure was up so high that he could hear his blood rushing in his ears, his face heating quickly, Charlie was so instantly distressed.

“I… _Sir_ ,” Charlie began, intending to apologize for the feelings he was now confident that Matthew knew all about. He was going to be sacked, or worse, pitied by the one person he wanted to have pride in him. Before his distress could build to panic, however, Matthew reached out to grasp his shoulder, squeezing it. Charlie’s brows furrowed together in confusion, unable to reconcile this reaction with the one that Matthew’d had when confronted by the subject of homosexuality before. Bewilderment overwhelmed his fear, his brain desperately trying to make sense of the situation he found himself in.

Matthew was quite close to him now, closer than was usually considered appropriate, closer than Charlie could ever remember him being, and it was causing Charlie’s head to swim. “ _Sir?_ ,” Charlie attempted to inquire, unable to muster the words to fully express his puzzlement. To his continued surprise, Matthew only smiled.

“Don’t call me ‘Sir’, not now. Not like this,” the older man murmured softly, pointedly moving closer and glancing down at Charlie’s mouth. Heat flooded Charlie the moment that Lawson’s actions registered, his mouth opening slightly in shock. Lawson glanced over his shoulder, clearly checking to make sure that no one was going to walk in on them, before leaning down a fraction to brush his lips against Charlie’s. Reflexively, Charlie reached out to pull him closer, deepening the kiss and pouring his months of unrestrained passion into it, his hands clenching in the front of Matthew’s uniform, as Matthew’s hands came to settle on Charlie’s waist.

They parted far too quickly for either of their liking, but it was necessary, they were policemen in a bloody police station for God’s sake, they couldn’t exactly take any more chances than they had already dared to. Both of them were breathing hard when they parted, more from the surprise of the situation than from exertion, though they didn’t end their embrace immediately, lingering for a few moments. Charlie licked his lips, smiling almost deliriously as Matthew aimed a tender look at him, leaving him with little doubt that his affections were most assuredly returned. Reluctantly, Matthew pulled back all of the way, taking a step backward, separating them.

“As much as I would love to snog you senseless, right here, right now, we can’t,” Lawson stated, humour creeping into his voice. “Though, if you’re not doing anything tonight…” Charlie couldn’t help but grin, his blush still staining his cheeks, his heart singing and mind racing with the possibilities.

“I…yes. I’d love to,” Charlie replied, nearly tripping over his words in his excitement. Matthew nodded, smiling at him warmly before schooling his expression back into something neutral.

“I’ll see you then,” Matthew said, the words clearly affectionate and anticipatory. He stepped away, heading for the stairs, before turning around once more. “You might want to take a second,” he pointed out, gesturing up at his own cheeks, indicating that Charlie was still blushing.

Nodding, Charlie smiled at Matthew again before the man took his leave, raising a shaking hand to his lips. He watched as Matthew climbed the stairs, still trying to process what just happened. His entire world had just been turned on its axis and Charlie couldn’t find it within himself to be concerned about the future, only profoundly excited.


End file.
